D E M E N T E D P E N G U I N . N E T

December 18, 2009

Blogging at 36k feet

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 11:13 am

Wow, this is cool. I’m on a Virgin America flight headed for San Francisco and I’m updating my blog using my cellphone going though the in-flight wifi. Sweet! Fortunately the wifi is free otherwise I’m too cheap to pay for this ;) They also have games in the headrests, which actually includes Doom! Unbelievable.

So I’m ultimately heading for Seattle, San Francisco is just a layover. I’m heading to Seattle to bring the wife and kid back home finally. It’s been five months since they left, so this is a much overdue homecoming. We’re driving a U-Haul and her car down to LA over the weekend. We’re going to spend the night in Roseburg OR tonight (the kid has his OWN ROOM!!), then stay at my moms place in San Francisco on Saturday night, then it’s just a 5-6 hour drive home from there on Sunday.

Hope the dogs will be okay. I’ve got a friend taking care of them while I’m gone but didn’t really have much of a chance to introduce them. All he really has to do is say the word “food” and I’m sure they will let him in.

Looks like we’re starting head in for the landing now, I’d better wrap this up.

UPDATE: I’m on the second leg of my journey to Seattle. I thought I’d test out the wifi a little more and decided to access my server over ssh, which worked. Awesome. Then I ordered a few movies from Frys, which worked. Double Awesome. The only thing I can’t seem to do at the moment is connect to the vpn at my work, but that’s not really important I guess. It would be nice if I could do that though.

I did a speed test using http://www.speakeasy.net/speedtest/ and the results were 361kb download and 307kb upload. Not too bad but I wish the little “kb” was a big “KB” instead…. I copied a 12M file from my server (using scp) which took a minute 50 seconds to transfer and the average transfer rate was about 106KB.

Ok, enough techie stuff for now. I’m just trying to see what this wifi is capable of and if it is something I could ultimately use. I’d give it 3.8 out of 4 stars. The only thing really lacking is vpn access, but that might be something on my side (although I doubt it since it works over normal wifi). I can get around vpn access if I just use ssh so it’s only a minor hindrance. Still not sure if I’d pay for it but then again I’m not really sure how much it costs either. If it’s only a coupla bucks then I’d most likely pay, especially on longer flights.

November 29, 2009

Status in paradise

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 1:06 am

It’s been a strange 48 hours. I found out Thursday night that Nickey has a boyfriend – yay, on Thanksgiving Day. Ok, that’s to be expected. After all it’s been since the end of June since she’s lived here. I talked to her on Friday and asked her about it and somehow the conversation turned into us trying to work things out, I’m honestly not sure who started the topic. So we talked for a while and decided to pick up the conversation again in the morning. It was a rough night for me. She called in the morning and said she had been thinking about things all night and that she remembered all of the “bad stuff”. Why is it she always thinks of all the good times we’ve had until I want to really work things out, then it’s all the bad stuff? To sum things up, it sounds like she’s not into working things out after all. What a pit I’m in – she was the one I waited for, the only one I’ve deemed worthy of marrying, the one I was fully expecting to spend the rest of my life with. Meh.

Alright, enough with the heavy stuff. Today was a decent day. I woke up at 10, played with the dogs, then went on the road trip I promised the dogs. First we stopped off at Barger Harley because I needed some new gloves. The one’s I’ve been using are perforated so the rides home after work have been pretty cold lately. After that we started out towards Ojai, the initial destination, but traffic was horrible. Instead we went down towards Malibu on Topanga Canyon and stopped off at a cool store called Hidden Treasures. I’ve mentioned it before in a couple of my posts – it’s kind of a hippy shop with used clothing, incense burning, some bizarre antiquities, and that’s also where I bought my acoustic guitar recently. I bought some incense and then continued on down to Malibu. We drove down toward Santa Monica, explored a few side streets I hadn’t been down before, then headed back home. We stopped off at McDonalds and I bought the pups a burger, which Zoe enjoyed and Loki swallowed whole. I ended up taking a 2 hour nap after that – I had just eaten and I put on golf, what can I say :) . When I woke up I decided to tackle one of the projects that had been on my list for a long time. I dumped out the planters in the backyard, refilled them with soil, then planted grass seeds, and covered them in clear plastic – sort of like a greenhouse. The hope is to grow grass in them for the dogs, they used to eat the plants in them anyway so grass would probably be better for them.

So to end off the night I’m watching School of Rock and practicing on the guitar. Now that work will hopefully be slowing down quite a bit I’m going to make it my mission to learn how to play the guitar better. I’ve got two of them, you’d think I’d know how to play something on them….

Unfortunately this is the quality of the post you get from me when I have a lot of free time. I do usually use my blogs as a method of ranting about useless crap, so I guess I’ll have to get back to that again. I’m missing a few important key ingredients though – I need to dine on microwave cheese sandwiches with ketchup, and drink Jack and Coke. That’s when my posts are the most insightful ;)

November 26, 2009

Thanksgiving already?

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 8:35 pm

This year has flown by. I guess when you are absorbed in your job for 70-90 hours a week that can happen…. Fortunately we finally deployed the final piece of the game last week so we will *hopefully* be slowing down to somewhat normal hours finally. If not then there may very well be a major uprising by several of the crew.

I think this is the first holiday we’ve had off in some time (although I think we did have labor day “off”). I have been slowly taking advantage of the time off and have been cleaning up the house room by room – something that has been direly needed for some time. I still have a long way to go but I should be able to get it done by the end of the weekend. I’ve been spending as much time with the dogs as I can too because I haven’t been around much to give them attention. I think we’re going to go for a ride tomorrow to some, as of yet unknown, location.

Today has been surprisingly pretty good. Although I haven’t feasted like the rest of the masses in this fine country, I have been enjoying the day quite a bit. I had to work until early this morning and didn’t wake up until about 1pm but, contrary to my normal M.O., I got started pretty much right away. I’ve been upgrading my computer all day (it is at least 3 revs. of Ubuntu behind!), cleaned the house, played with the dogs, blared my new Kid Rock cd, etc. I ran out of cigarettes early this afternoon so I got dressed and headed out to the local 7-11. I felt very biker-ish with the beard, longer hair, the chain wallet and my CBGB t-shirt. I rode the bike to the store and since it was about 75 decided it was nice enough to forgo the jacket. I got the smokes and then went for a ride. It was one of the nicest rides I’ve had so far on the new bike. Perfect temp, not much traffic, and made most of the lights. It was a short ride – only about 45 minutes – but it helped to recharge me a little. It makes a big difference riding without a jacket, much less restrictive and freeing. I love my bike.

November 20, 2009

So this is 40

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 1:20 am
The "winter" look

The "winter" look

Today was my birthday, the big 4-0. How the hell did that happen?? Can’t say as I feel any different than I did 10 years ago but I suppose it’s all relative. Fortunately for me most people are surprised when they find out how old I am, but then again I’m still a child on the inside.

The day started out, well, I guess normal for how my life has been lately. I got up at noon (had been at work until past 2am the day before). I went to “breakfast” with my boss, which is a normal morning thing. We went to the same place we always go – it’s a place called Hearts. This morning was a bit different than normal in that there was a crew there filming for a Census commercial. I was *hoping* that they were filming My Name is Earl (Hearts has been in a few of the episodes) and that they had revived the series, but one of the crew members confirmed that it wasn’t. After that we left for work.

Today was pretty hectic at work because we are releasing the store part of our game (League of Legends) tonight. I’m not the one doing the deploy but I have to be there at 6am in the morning for the second coverage shift. It’s a pretty big deal because we were supposed to release the store three weeks ago but there were some pretty big issues with it so the developers had to bring it all in-house and has been working feverishly on it. We are all pretty excited about it going out and can’t wait to watch the daily numbers. I got home early tonight, midnight, and should really head off to bed. For anyone who knows me they know I am in no way a morning person, and I have to get up in 4.5 hours. Ugh.

The highlight of the day was Hayden called me and sang me Happy Birthday. I wish I had been able to record it! That is one awesome kid, I sure miss him.

So there you go – my 40th birthday recap.

November 7, 2009

Latest update

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 7:44 pm

It ’s amazing to me how fast this year has gone by, but then again I’ve been mired in work and other things so time is bound to go by quickly I guess. Already a week into November? Dang.

So far SoCal has been living up to my expectations. In the last month there has only been 2 days of rain, some of the nights have been really foggy on the city side but clear in the valley, and the daytime temps have been in the 70’s-80’s. That’s why I wanted to move here. Last weekend I went to Seattle and it rained every day there. I do not miss that at all. I would never be able to justify owning a motorcycle in Washington, I just wouldn’t get to ride it enough. Here I ride it every day except when it rains – which is about 2-3 weeks a year.

As I mentioned, I went to Seattle last weekend to see Hayden. We spent about 24 hours together and had some fun. We went trick-or-treating, went to lunch with my Mom and Bob, went to Chuck-E-Cheeses, and had a sleepover at my Dads place.  It was a bit weird seeing Nickey for the first time in three months but things went ok, although she seems to feel the need to tell me way to much about her personal life. We have been tentatively talking about Hayden coming down to stay with me for about a week after Christmas which would be really cool. Just a couple of “dudes” hanging out together.

Apparently my neighbors house was almost broken into 2 weeks ago. She got hit last year too, but this time someone saw them so they took off before they could take anything. She asked if I could put one of my dogs in her backyard during the day on the weekdays to try to discourage them from coming back again. Even though Loki is much more intimidating I think Zoe is a better fit for the job because she’s easier to manage. My neighbor just had back surgery a few months back and I’d be afraid Loki would hurt her. He’s such a brute sometimes. As it turns out my neighbor is actually afraid of Loki anyway, and Zoe is doing a good job so she was definitely the right choice for the job.

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for me and my personal computers. About two weeks ago my personal laptop at work had the hard drive die on me, then today I had the hard drive in my home laptop go bad and the power supply in my desktop die. It’s a good thing I have the netbook work gave me otherwise I’d be computer free at the moment.  That can’t happen…..

October 4, 2009

Week 40 of 2009 was hell

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — admin @ 7:40 pm

Things at work have been high paced (higher than normal), high stress, and long hours the last few weeks. This past week was one of the worst so far. We’ve had to do a few 2am site restarts, 5am deploys, and most nights I don’t get home until sometime after 11pm. Between Tuesday and Wednesday I got a combined total of 7.5 hours of sleep. In a weird way it’s pretty rewarding. It’s unfortunate that we need to work such long hours in order to make any progress but hopefully it will slow down considerably once we find another SA and after the game finally launches.

Yesterday I went to lunch with the crew from MonsterTrak. We were going to have a bbq at my place but since there were a few that couldn’t make it we decided on just meeting for lunch. I’m actually glad it worked out that way because I haven’t had any time to get things ready for the bbq anyway. After lunch I came home and crashed for about 3 very needed hours.

Today is Hayden’s birthday, he’s 7 years old now. I don’t remember why, but he opened his gifts yesterday and called me while he opened the one from me. I wish I could have seen him open them, but the phone call was good too.

September 27, 2009

One last try….

Filed under: general topics — Tags: — admin @ 12:17 am

Last week I talked to Nickey for the first time in about two weeks. We talked a few times during the week – thanks to Nickey’s sister Tomi, who said that Hayden was feeling that I had abandoned him. When I talked to him, he asked me if I was going to “quit on him”. Aww – I felt so bad. I have *really* been missing him a lot lately. I’ve been unsure of what to do as far as he’s concerned, thinking back to what it was like for me as a child and having to deal with things between my own divorced parents growing up. Part of me felt I needed to make a clean break since I’m sure Nickey will find someone new eventually who will take the lead role as “dad”, and another part of me didn’t want to just let him go like that. I guess when I got the email from Tomi the choice was made a little more vividly clear, and when I talked to Hayden and he asked me that I felt like a total heal for even considering the clean break option. Between my pending divorce and that I let him down as a father I feel like a total and complete failure at this point. Poor kid. I told Nickey once that anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a Dad. I really let him down there.

His birthday is on October 4th and I’ve been trying to figure out what I can do for him. I already sent some money for his birthday and today I got him a way too expensive gift – of course it’s bought out of guilt for how I’ve been lately, but I feel like I have so much to make up for where he’s concerned. I drive past his old school in the mornings on my way to work and see all the kids out playing and I can’t help but think of him. I can’t even go in his room because I’m so ashamed of how this has, and will, affected him.

For the time being, I’ve set a schedule to call him every Sunday. It does somewhat mirror my own childhood schedule with my mom but instead of the first and third Sundays I’m going to try to make it every Sunday.

The reason for the title of this post is because during one of the conversations I had with Nickey (an hour and a half long one) I told her I wanted to ask a question, just to get it out there and make sure we were on the same page as far as our relationship goes. I asked if she thought there was any chance of our relationship being repaired at all. She said that if she could get a guarantee that things would be completely different then she’d be back in a heartbeat but she didn’t think that was possible, so no. I have to agree with her, I seriously can’t guarantee something like that. I would totally commit to trying, but to Nickey – “Trying is failing with honor”. So back to the plan to file again. How could I wait until I was 35 to get married, when I thought I might be grown up enough to do such a thing finaly, and fuck it up so bad.

September 18, 2009

The craziness of work, but it’s only going to get worse

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 5:26 am

As I’ve mentioned before, where I work is now in hyper crunch mode. We are going live on the 22nd of this month and things are no where near ready, at least as far as I can see. Today I had to leave the dogs alone for 16.5 hours because it was one hellatious day, I left at 10am in the morning and didn’t get home until 4:30am today. I spent 6 hours at the datacenter in the morning setting up systems, battled for 4 hours with a web server in the afternoon (which ended up winning unfortunately), then another 5 hours at the datacenter after that. No lunch, a couple of smoke breaks, and back and forth to the datacenter a few times. It’s a good thing I love what I do…. I really feel bad for the dogs tho, they didn’t get to eat dinner until almost 5am.

September 15, 2009

Work and life

Filed under: general topics — admin @ 12:16 am

Seems like as the weeks go by things are getting crazier at work. Lately I haven’t been able to leave before 10:30 and I’m working on the weekends more and more. I’ll probably have to go in at least one day this coming weekend. Management is under the impression that after the game releases at the end of this month that things will start to quiet down after two weeks. None of us are fooled however, and we know it will be months before all the “hotfixes” and bugs are all sorted out. We’ve been searching for months now for another systems administrator to help out and now that we have two weeks until the game launches it’s seemingly a futile endeavor. Who would have thought that with the talented pool of professionals in L.A. that we still have not found anyone to fill the job. We’re finding that people are either a) completely crazy, b) lazy, c) not technical enough, or d) don’t have the personality to fit our company culture. If you’re reading this and think you have what it might take to work here, drop me a line – PLEASE.

I helped out my neighbor last weekend with installing Wordpress on his Mac. I’ve never used a Mac before so it was really a learning experience for both of us. He was quite generous in his payment for my services by bbq’ing me a nice slab of salmon, wine, and a cigar. Being a former native of the Seattle area it makes complete sense that I love salmon. I would eat it every day if I could. There might be a point where I’ll need his help because I recently got a Samsung netbook through work (so I can be even more available) and I set aside a partition to install MacOS. I found a cool “Hackintosh” website (don’t have the link atm or I’d post it) that tells how to do the installation. I’ve been wanting to dable more in BSD as well as Mac’s, so it just sort of makes sense to give it a try. My biggest road block to getting a Mac has always been the price of their laptops, so this would be a great way to circumvent that. Most of the engineering team where I work use Mac’s so it would also help me to support them. I’ll post my progress on that – if there is any.

I’ve been practicing every day on the guitar and I think I’m slowly getting more fluid. I also finaly figured out how to tune my acoustic guitar, which is surprisingly easy to do. Here’s a great link: http://www.howtotuneaguitar.org/tuning/how-to-tune/ . I’m not ready to go on tour or anything, but hopefully I’ll get good enough that I could “jam” some day.

The house is almost completely cleaned up now. There’s mostly the sunroom left to clean, as well as some stuff that I need to decide if I need to donate, store, or throw out now. I’m thinking of painting next, but money is becoming a huge issue lately. After paying a ton of bills this past weekend and seeing the end balance in my account it is becoming rapidly clear that I need to re-re-re-evaluate my spending habits and pare them back even more. I can’t even afford to file for the divorce now. I’ll find a way but it may take some time unfortunately. It’s like a noose around my neck lately and it really needs to be done.

The dogs and the cat are all healthy and (seemingly) happy. The cat and I actually get along pretty well, which is strange because we really didn’t get along before. At least she has plenty of freedom, but I feel bad for the dogs. They have been amazingly good considering I’ve left them in the house for as much as 15 hours at a time. I try to leave as early as I can from work but, like I said, it’s been really crazy lately. They are really troopers and it’s so nice to come home and see how excited they are. They jump all over me and give me lots of love. I wonder where I’d be right now without them.

This past weekend I made a list of what I want from life. I think part of my problem over the last few years has been focus related – in every sense. I’m trying to come up with a list of what I want from life, what I feel I need in order to actually be happy. It’s obviously going to be a work in progress based on where I’m at and what’s going on at that time, but I’m trying to set the foundation vision for my future. Think of it as a mission statement for my life if you will. Oddly enough my strongest personality trait – “detective” – plays no part in my future. Wonder what that means….

One nice thing about everything that’s been going on lately is that I now have a whole new (well, old) wardrobe. I can now fit into clothes that I wore 4 years ago. I’ve lost about 25 pounds total now and am hoping to lose another 20 or so. It seems I’ve hit a bit of a plateau though, so we’ll see how it goes. If I can be more consistent about working out then I think I’ll break over the cliff of the plateau and hit my goal. I try to work out in the mornings but the past week I’ve been sleeping through my alarms. I don’t know what that’s all about….

Until next time – live the life you deserve, desire, and really need. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Words I have yet to live by.

September 5, 2009

New adventures

Filed under: general topics — admin @ 10:41 pm

In my last update I mentioned that I was going to go to La Jolla with the dogs. We did make the trip, although when I realized just how far it was going to be I almost decided not to go. But I know the dogs love their car rides so I decided to go after all – in the name of adventure. When we got there it was close to being a parking lot so we didn’t get to see as much as I’d planned to, but the puppies did get to enjoy a chicken sandwich like I promised them.

The following weekend (last weekend) my friend came in to town for a few days. It was great having him here and he helped me to enjoy sitting out in the yard as well as swimming again. We went out to eat, sat outside and talked at night, and even managed to drive by the beach at one point – we were planning to stop and go to the beach but time was running out before he had to leave to catch his plane and the beaches were packed anyway. On the way back I took him through this tiny little town I’d been through a few times before that has this somewhat odd kind of store in it. It’s almost a hippy kind of second hand shop. They have incense burning and all kinds of strange objects for sale as well as clothes. While looking through the store I happened upon an acoustic guitar (which I’d been wanting for some time), a Mitchell MD 100s. Being the nerd that I am I pulled out my blackberry and searched for reviews and prices online and found it to have high reviews. The price they had for it was very reasonable compared to what it was new so I decided to get it, in lieu of my aforementioned tattoo from a previous post. I try to play it every day if I can, but the problem is that I don’t know how to tune an acoustic guitar yet. My electric guitar is easy – just plug in the tuner and hit a string. I’ll have to do some research I guess.

This week has been undeniably one of the craziest since I started working at this place. We had three catastrophic site failures yesterday alone, and the prior days were long and stressful. It’s funny though, this is probably the fastest and most stressful job (work-wise) I’ve ever had but I love every minute of it. I just wish I was still a contractor sometimes getting those contractor dollars :)

This weekend we actually get as a three day holiday. Because of that I completely wasted today and did nothing – except for a couple loads of laundry. I got up after 10, took a nap this afternoon, and haven’t really ventured out anywhere at all. I haven’t even gotten out of my pajamas yet and it’s 10:30 at night! I was tempted to go to the Harley dealership because they had a big sale today, but I don’t really have the money to spend on the bike right now. I really want new pipes tho…. The next two days though I’m planning to do more. I’ve got the bug to do a little exploring. Pack up the dogs and drive somewhere, have lunch, and hopefully get out and stretch our legs a little. I kinda want to go fishing too, but we’ll see about that.

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